…to do what we want to do.
When I started my first job, I was happy to earn my own money. But I understood that my job would take 80% of my brain time. Even on the week-end, I would have been too tired to do what I wanted because I knew that I needed to rest to be able to perform at work the next week.
As I was young, I was rebellious. « It’s unfair. Now that I earn money and I don’t have time to spend that money for whatever I want, I have to use it for optimizing my work! ».
At that time, I though that if I worked less I would have more time to do what I wanted.
What did I want to do? I didn’t know exactly. Fun things. Go to the cinema. Spend time with friends and family. Try this new dance class. Painting class. Pottery class. You name it.
Last year, I discovered how it is to « not wok at all ». I had plenty of time but no money anymore.
I went back to live with my mom and I was extremely bored. Like I hated myself for just thinking about doing nothing of my time. But I was exhausted.
The first days I slept. I needed a break after my startup failure. Then I woke up and realized that I wanted to do… nothing. No inspiration.
I observed my mum who is a happy retired person. She had a lot of activities through out the day. Gardening, watching TV shows, singing, go to fitness class with friends, …
And I… I was stuck in my couch with an empty mind.
At first, I though that was because I had no money (it doesn’t help). But in fact, I understood that I just wasn’t in the same movement as the people of my age. I was left as a paria.
Then after 2 weeks, I decided it was time to do something disruptive. I bought a plane ticket and I fought to find a job back in Paris.
Today, I know that I can’t do whatever I want whenever I want. But I have a life. A strange ritual everyday life. And my goal now is to prioritize what’s the most important for me everyday.
No more « to do list » cluttering my brain. I select 1 focus every week and I stick to it.
My 1 focus is added to my 5 focus of performance that I established for myself:
- Health: Cook my own food at night and on week-end. I give myself 1 joker every week (yes I love to take out some sushis). Eat fruits, vegetables and seeds. Less meat I can.
- Health: Cardio and intense workout at least once a week. If I can add some stretching or yoga, it’s better.
- Efficiency : Don’t count my hours but be efficient in every task. If I don’t have anything more to do, I can go home, no matter what time it is.
NB: In France, employees have a « presence problem »; they think that if we stay at work 12 hours a day, we are good employees, even if we do nothing interesting during those hours.
And it’s not my understanding of « efficient ». - Empathy: Listen to people, analyze their path and help them grow.
I was granted to become a professional coach last year and I love it. Inspiring people to find their own path and joy at work is my life goal. - Knowledge: Read and write whatever I can to grow my knowledge of the world (and of myself).
I found out that working to enhance myself everyday helped me to make better choices and inspire more. So I stick to it.
To summarize, I optimize my work to be able to help, cook and be kind with my body every week. To that I add one more Focus that will make me feel proud and happy at the end of the week.
This last focus depends on the calendar. For example, last week, it was « Preparing a lovely brunch at home for 15 of my friends ». The week before, it was « Creating a beautiful birthday card for my mum with my brother’s help ». This week, I needed to take care of my body because I was sick.
I might need to provide papers to my bank or wash my shower with special soap… but no, that’s not this week’s focus. Maybe next time. I literally ignore my mental to do list made of uninteresting things. And I choose to go to my favorite dance class (2nd focus), I can write and read a lot about Health and Technology (5th focus). I love my work and colleagues when I can speak and laugh with them (4th focus).
I don’t feel stuck anymore in my work and life.
I made some choices and the rest of it doesn’t matter anymore. Well, I’m talking here about work and self efforts only. I never forget my family and friends in this process. There are way above those focus considerations because that’s important for me.
Your turn now. What are your weekly focus?
Take care
Photo by Kaboompics // Karolina from Pexels